Everything Is Perfect When You're a Liar by Kelly Oxford

Author:Kelly Oxford
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
ISBN: 9780062102249
Publisher: HarperCollins

Aimee and I were two blocks away, still reeking of onions, when we heard a pop and steam shot out from under the hood.

“This is unbelievable,” I deadpanned. “We just drove away from their house. We had it inspected. This kind of thing doesn’t really happen.”

Aimee pulled into a gas station. We parked, hopped out of the van, and ran through the downpour into the station to call Baba Knockers back.

“Uh, yeah. I’m, like, two blocks away from your house and the van just broke down . . . Yes . . . Steam from the hood . . . Yes . . . Send one of your sons over, or bring us our money back.”

I imagined her arriving and reaching deep between those long tits to fish out our nine sweaty hundreds. Maybe she’d pull out a kitten or a curling iron before she got to the money, like Mary Poppins with her carpetbag. But deep down I knew that money would never escape her magic-carpetbag boobs, that she’d send her creepy old sons over to “help.”

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